Perfect Hard Boiled Eggs

I here for you. Eggs in pot. DO NOT CROWD. Cover inch or two with cold water. Fuck vinegar guy. Fuck salt lady. Fuck hot water moron. Cold water inch or two. Bring to boil with no lid. Once boil, put lid on and remove from hot. 12 minutes no peeking. Ding. Ice bath for egg minute or so. Here come important. Hit egg three times. Nose. Butt. Side. In that order. Easy peely. Bright yellow yolk. Every. Fucking. Time.

-- some goon